Isosceles  (a story)

       “Parents back then...may have thought isosceles was a guy from the Bible and that a hypotenuse was a big ugly animal in Africa, but they knew their kids.” – Come On, People, by Bill Cosby and Dr. Alvin F. Poussaint, MD, page 79.

             Isosceles, the ancient Greek explorer, was Asymptotically approaching the Perimeter when his friend Hyperbola spoke to him.        

            “Have you heard?", asked Hyperbola. "Hypothesis has returned from Africa, where he journeyed through a long Sequence of Lemmas is search of a Hypotenuse.”

            “Impossible,” chimed in an Obtuse companion. I have Circled the entire Sphere and have never been Adjacent to a Hypotenuse. I tell you, they are Imaginary.”

            Soon, Hypothesis arrived. “I am Satisfied,” he reported. We traveled deep into the jungle, Constructed an Origin using only Straightedge and Compass, and sent out two Acute observers bearing Perpendicular Axes. When one had traveled three Stadia and the other four, they spied a Hypotenuse running between them.”

            “How large was it,” asked Isosceles?

            “They are not sure,” said Hypothesis, “since Pythagoras hasn’t been born yet. But they asserted that it was Rational and even vouched for its Integrity.”

            “How I long to Measure the Hypotenuse,” said Isosceles.

            “Unfortunately,” answered Hypothesis, “the sage Contrapositive has prohibited you from doing so.”

            “Why?” asked Hyperbola.

            “He foretells that if Isosceles were present, the measurement would require two observers of Equal Acuity, and that if these were Rationally placed, the Hypotenuse would become Irrational, endangering us all.”

 

            Conclusion.

            The author should not be allowed to help with the Geometry homework.

        

Edward Ordman  (c) 2009

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