One that helped convey my parents' scepticism about traditional views
of the
hereafter was this one that my parents repeatedly told when I
asked about
“Heaven” and “Hell”, words I’d heard from playmates.
The Messiah and the two tailors
Samuel and Mordecai were tailors. Business
was bad. Business was awful.
Samuel became very depressed and announced he was going to kill himself.
Mordecai: “No you mustn’t. Besides, something
is bound to happen to make
things better.”
Samuel: “What could possibly happen to make things
better? Nobody has
money to buy clothes.
We’re going to starve.”
Mordecai: (Thinking) “Maybe the Messiah will come.”
Samuel: “How would that help the tailor business?”
Mordecai: (Thinking) “When the Messiah comes, all
the dead will be resurrected.
They can’t go
around wearing their shrouds, they’ll all need new
clothes.
Business will be wonderful!”
Samuel: “mmm. .. . No, it’ll never work.
When the dead get resurrected, all
the dead tailors are
gonna get resurrected too. Competition will be
worse than ever!”
Mordecai: “Don’t be silly. How will all those
dead tailors know this year’s
styles?
My father also answered questions
about the afterlife, if any, by saying,
“I don’t know if there is one or not, but frankly, I have enough other
problems
here in this world to solve. If God wants to know if there is
an afterlife, He’ll
have to figure that one out for himself without my help."
(C) Edward Ordman 1980